Sunday, July 29, 2007


Is it possible that a child of 3 1/2 could possibly remember ANYTHING from when she was a baby? We adopted Payton 2 1/2 years ago when she was just 12 months old and every once in a while she comes out with stuff that we believe might be memories. Yesterday we visited friends of ours that now live in Florida and were here to finally close on their house. We drove about an hour to get there and Payton was about to fall asleep as we arrived so she was a little out of sorts. She has always been shy around people that she doesn't know, but she knows our friends. We haven't seen them lately, but she definitely knows them. Today was different, she was really clingy. She wouldn't even go to her Daddy. She clung to me and would not get down. Our friends are Korean and she wouldn't even look at them. She wouldn't say hello and buried her head in my neck and shoulder. It lasted well over an hour. When she finally got down, she played with Connor, their youngest and he took good care of her. She felt safe with him. When we left, she "snapped" back into her normal self. We arrived home she and Sydney went into the playroom and played until it was time for bed. Payton and Sydney share a room, so part of our bedtime routine is they get tubs and then they get to watch a little movie before bed. They take turns picking out movies, and tonight Sydney choose the movie Big Bird In China. Payton REFUSED to watch it. The little girl in the movie has the same name as Payton did in China, Shao Fu (Payton's Chinese name is Shoa Fu Qin) and she would not have any part of it. She said she HATES Shoa Fu and doesn't like China anymore. She wasn't crying, but very upset. When I asked her why she didn't like China, she rambled a bit and I totally did not understand what she was saying. Then she looked me straight in the face and said, I don't like China because there were lots of babies and I had to get into a car! I am sure I had a totally look of confusion on my face after she said this. She then looked at me and said, I just want a different movie ok? I said ok and her and Sydney picked out a different one. A half hour later they were both asleep. My head was spinning. All I kept thinking was, could she possibly remember??????? She is sharp as a tack, but articulation is not one of strong points. She was a late talker, and even when she did begin talking she was very difficult to understand. There are still times when I look at her and say huh???? She said this with such conviction that I know she meant it. I don't know what/where/when she remembers it from, but she remembers.

So here is my question. Do you believe that children remember? Remember back to a time in their life that they were so young and fragile? Share your experiences with me.


Beckyb said...

Wow - it does my heart good just to hear you say that - we wonder that so often - especially when our little one is up screaming at night - sound asleep - with night terrors - is she re-living things?? How can we help her, etc.??? So - from one mom to another - thanks for stating that out loud - I always wonder it silently!

Lisa said...

Hey Tammy,
You know from my post here:

I do believe that they do remember things from an early age. My heart is with you as we are in the same boat.

Beverly said...

Yes they do remember the difficulty is in the recalling. If the memories are from a pre-verbal time the recall will not be there. Here is a thought, she may have fallen asleep on the way to meet you guys the first time and then fallen asleep to see your friends even if she knew they already. They have Asian features being korean and she may have been extremely afraid of being sent away from you. Maybe she was dreaming something that related to that memory recall.


Charlotte said...

I've always told you Raeghan loves chinese music, it is like soothing to her, and recently she fell in love with a friend's daughter on a blog who sings chinese songs and Raeghan already has one of them memorized ! Amazing !
Sometimes I worry what Riley remembers alot, when he came home he swept and cleaned up the daycare after lunch, I cried so much when I found out !


Anonymous said...


Remember she met Michael C over in China when you picked her up. Maybe she is associating him with China?

Aunt Cheryl

Tammy said...

Thanks to everyone who responded to this post both on the blog and privately. It is obvious to me know that I will never know if she remembers. I will just continue to love her and help to feel secure. Whatever her past, I will do whatever it takes to make sure she knows that we are her family and we will always love her.

Thanks again!